Summer Internship...and this heat...somebody send me to bratislava

Had to find one desperately... and found it rather easily...so i am working as an intern in tcp advertizing for my summer internships...and i m not hating it atall....well to begin with....i dont have the patience to think...and i am too lazy and too 'whatever' to work!! i hate to be dominated, i hate working...but i do like to chase my dreams...hmmm...in a very practical way...or maybe the word 'practical' to me is just a word! but i said 'maybe', who knows if i am actually a fool to even think that way...well this time i have to complete my quota of two months of internship....its wet, humid, boring, tiring...exhausting...boring..oh..did i mention boring twice??...newe, and not even a payment to be happy about...not that interns dont get paid but i somehow find myself doing social service!red fm was a horrible experience...sitting wid a radio all day to monitor channels...is that what you call 'job'? i would rather fly kites and sleep than this...come on!oh btw i am awesome at flying kites...and like getting tanned in the sun...DHOOP!!! yes i feel energized...i dont like the ac at all...i feel stuffy and irritated...i am a fan person...but look at me now...sitting in the ac all day with sheets of paper spread out infront of me...and a pen impringting my thoughts on the paper...but my mind is somewhere else...i am good at it...they say!!! i can draw and i can represent my thoughts with my drawings...!!! but my mind is still playing back the highlights of last nights match played b/w the french and the dutch...4-1 to the dutch, my team for the cup, how they did so well to beat the french...so cool oranje...and then the bsnl ad takes over from the dutch going beserk after the final whistle like a parallel montage sort of a thing...i fold the sheets of paper put my pen back in my pocket....work finished...job done...so i say to my boss..."sir ar parchi na...ebar bari jabo..."

In college '07...

Sometimes feelings fail you of their meaning. I seldom feel so deep, so obscure. I was never stared at so diligently, so fervently…jealous to the other eyes, but I tried to pretend as I hadn’t seen anything at all. Happy, yet confused and conscious about the fact that some answers needed to be written on my answer script. But I held back my desire to look back.

I did quite well.

Next week my feelings sped away dangerously at perilous alleys, I talked nonsense to friends who never had ideas about my inner dialectical emotions. I seemed perfectly normal to them, while I was in another high, drooling over non-existent castles. I wrote poems, drew sketches of the soothing scent. I created life on paper with my creative yet scratchy pencil lines. I never felt so possessed before.

I never really got over the feeling. I would never want to either. I know its fate-less. But if that’s how feelings taste like then I am rather happy that it didn’t deceit me at all. I however don’t feel so much possessed now but the emotions continue. The jealous eyes still stare at us when I am looked at. I feel a bit hesitant, a bit defeated, a bit outdone by those precious little ogles. I don’t mind that at all.

I have not shared this with anyone, and I now feel I should write about it. It’s not cheap, not a fetish neither an obsession. But I will hold these feelings close to my heart, and you might see me smiling all by myself with my eyes tight shut, and correctly guess the reason for the happiness.

huh? :O!

i believe i can fly...
and hit an airplane in the sky...
fall back on a field of rye...
i believe i can fly...

ship

i am stranded on a desert shore
but i see a ship approaching me,
growing bigger and bigger in size
the gallant silhouette touches me.
i dont know how, but theres a smile
and my dream ends there abruptly...
i shut my eyes to dream again
but i wouldnt see the ship anymore,
it must have carried me in it
while i still waited on the shore.
i remember nothing beyond the dream
but there i was...

not stranded anymore...

The Sine Curve

Did you ever come across a sine curve? If you have its fine, but if you have not then you better check out what it looks like cuz I don’t have the time to explain it to you. Anyway, last week I had the most bizarre time with friends at Santiniketan, we went there for a class trip to relax a bit after the mid semester exams. And would you believe if I told you that I stumbled on a sine curve on the trip? But ironically I did stumble on the funny thing!

Ok, so what happened was, we had the most filling lunch at Babli at around 3 ‘O clock…and then we thought ok lets roll some joints people!
Ahem ahem…not a joke…we literally did!

Harsh got his hash out and Neha occupied herself with grinding the solid…and Aishik,
Anirban, Neepa and I took a back seat and started yapping. Sneha yapped more and created noise so I shut my ears for a while and asked my tired brain to believe that she wasn’t there in the room. Hmmm bad try. It duznt happen that way….you gotta be high to do all that imagining stuff. Anyway the joint took 15 minutes of tiring effort to come to shape and we sat ourselves in a circle and passed the joint from left to right. S.R.C(proff) was right at the right side of the circle…oops I think I still have the hangover…correction, he was there somewhere on the right of me…and I looked on as he took a deep and solid drag and his eyes immediately turned cherry… “This is very strong, where did you get it from harsh?” he asked. “Sir this is not from here, I got it from Himachalpradesh.”
The joint kept on passing hands and twitchy lips, and I took it from aishik. I took a deep drag as sir just taught! And boy I swear I got an instant kick. I almost passed out before the joint made another circle back to me. I leaned myself on the wall and closed my eyes. Sima said from somewhere around me. “ iska toh ho gaya…hes out!”
I kinda smirked at her remark and fuck…I cudnt stop smirking. I felt that my cheek muscles were forcing my lips up and I swear they were acting on their own. I smirked nonstop for twenty seconds maybe! And then I suddenly felt a downward pull to my cheek muscles…and my face no more smirked but became sad! And this was when I got my first sine curve! I was in my rational senses…but my nerves were off their rockers!
Danish and Aishik, poor things, could only be jealous by looking at my condition and they continued with their drags on hash. I was like “don’t do it yaar…its good but not worth it…you are way better without the high…trust me!”

I quietly laid myself down in the frenzy and sima who was beside me didn’t mind. I was almost out then. I had this weird sensation running within me and I felt a bit giddy and imagined things. I was forgetting the words which I spoke just seconds back; and even before I could finish the sentence I would forget the beginning part of it. It was like ---if a, b and c were the parts of my sentence…then, by the time I was saying c, I had forgotten the first two parts a and b completely! So, for a change, I tried listening to what the others were saying, plus the techno rock tracks coming from harsh’s laptop catered even more to the trance! I had this sine curve going on for quite some time until I saw aishik going flat on the wall…” dude you okay?” I gently asked him…and he smirked at me in reply. I could perfectly place myself in his shoes...O, I was already in his shoes... remember?
And I asked him to share the pillow with me…and I dunno why I shouted in his ears “come to daddy, son...you will be alright” I could feel some suspicious eyes on us instantly, so I cleared the air by adding “yes in a very healthy way!”
And Danish who was almost green from the nonstop drags and a bit from jealousy on seeing asihik and me in a trance, dropped himself on the bed with a loud thump! His head hit the wall…and instead of nursing his bump he grinned with his eyes shut!
The seconds ticked by. The only sane people around were…farah, nupur(friend of sneha), opasona(a bit high on hash smoke in the room!), subha( god knows what hit her that she kept on hoola-hoping for 10 mins on our bed) and anushree( embarrassed to face the camera non-stop) and robin( the trip had only begun for him).

The sine curve was vanishing fast and I didn’t want it to go away, so I started explaining to aishik, what were the two types of bongs that I knew of. And that bloody doper was blabbering to himself abut the male and the female bongs ( bengali people) while I kept on correcting him abut the ‘smoking’ bong and the ‘Bengali’ bong. But this holy doper wouldn’t listen to me for fucks sake!
I sat up on the bed when I felt a little stable…but I kept wondering why was I being sad and humorous at the same time! And while I was still on with this useless argument, anirban decided that we should go and have a stroll outside and see the setting sun.

Amazing scene I must say! But I totally freaked out when this pathetic human started abusing a poor dog or bitch or whatever, “you bloody horny bitch you just molested me!” that I had no choice but to be forced back to my senses to calm this weirdo who was induced with the fake high!

hallelujah!

this girl is some show!

scribbles from the past

A Lot New 2...

It was a funny feeling.

There were certain vibrations coming form somewhere not so far up, which were terribly exciting. The tympanic membranes vibrated as the metal chords cut across the air as we were carefully climbing up the stairs. We were greeted with a smoky and dark but still well lit up floydian environment. I could see a whitish door directly in front of us with some writings on it. And I slowly panned my vision to the rest of the contents; my eyes stopped at a grinning guy sitting smartly with an ax.

‘Monty this is Chayan”
I was introduced only with these four words as I went up to him, shook his hands, and sat myself down cozily on a chair next to him. And he happily handed me his ax and ordered me to play!
Man imagine this, you love a girl and her father asks you to ‘do whatever you want’ with her! I was a virgin if those beautifully carved bodies were to touch me! (And otherwise!)

I was stared at; by Slash and by Zack Wylde, by Kurt Cobain and by Ozzy Osbourne, and by so many gory and deathly faces from little paper windows all across the walls.

I happily slid my fingers allover the fret board and I could smell creation. I closed my eyes and could see little notes floating in the nothingness. Some were clear and perfectly shaped while the others were quite close to what they were supposed to be. I was playing the electric guitar for the very first time.

I thought I was good.

I felt so fresh and cleaned up.

And then I opened my eyes again, after playing through with Monty’s fourth curvy baby. He was still grinning. He must have seen the passion in my eyes. And then in a gentle voice said he, “you were quite good but now you need to change your way of playing completely and start it all over again”

The words were not at all harsh or painful. They contained meaning, more than what I could infer then.

A Lot New...

The birds were too quiet that morning and I cursed them again! I’d overslept.
It’s really not hard to answer why I am so lazy; some would say that I am too excited all the time when I am awake. As a result...yes I am lazy!

It was a chilly morning and I came out of the shower and I layered myself carefully with t-shirts...a black one, a white one...and a black one. It’s preferable that way...and yes I was looking awesome(AS ALWAYS!)Momma packed my lunch as I gorged on the breakfast, and in no time saw myself out of the house...I was off for college.

Neepa had made it clear, "Chayan if you don’t come tomorrow I will be very angry, Monty will not teach you, if you cant go to his place with me tomorrow". And I had grinned and nodded. She must have sweared at me for that impish face that I presented her with!

Ok so there I was, on my way to safeguard the vow. It was a long queue to the ticket punching machines. Office-goers, school children and many cranky looking and confused-innocent faces stared at me (god knows why?), as I scampered my way to the half working and half dead ticket punchers.

Shit! I missed the train by seconds and there I stood kicking and bitching as I grabbed some air in my bags after the quick sprint down and up the stairways to no effect! I was angry...mostly at the silly birds who didn’t shout enough that morning to unglue my sleepy eyes.

It’s a very long and boring walk to St. Xavier’s college from the Maidan metro station, and ironically it’s the shortest distance form the other metro stations or bus stops around. And I measured that the never-ending walk was covered in a record time of 7minutes and 09 secs.Though I wouldn’t call it a walk for I ran and I jogged and was even stopped at signals...but never walked!

I was too excited that day...and all my folks could see that on my face. But I refused to believe them. I thought I was behaving perfectly normal and neepa must have told them about my excitement for the new guitar classes.

People fantasize about different things everyday and in a way they are amazingly different from the fantasies they have had the previous day; and for me, today it was the mere thought that I would play the electric guitar for the first time...Aishik and I had other things to discuss when some Winny gal came in through the backdoor of the Socio class...I am tremendously crushed on her for a long time and I know she is all aware of the fact but, BUT let me now fucking leave that out for now and write abut other curvy bodies! What else guitars!

Well it was 2.45PM when our debate on 'which is the funniest part in a women’s body' ended when the bell rang and Neepa showed up. Robin and Anushree were cozying up in a corner when we decided that we should leave them alone to a much polluted and crazy world of cars and buses!

Aishik, neepa and I cabbed it till Monty's. And in the ride I was asked by a certain someone to keep myself limited to thoughts only, and not give them audible effects! And I was sadly finishing my lunch.

The cab took another right turn somewhere in Kidhirpore and we were there in the unknown. Rather Aishik and I were there in the unknown, while Neepa and the cabbie had been acquaintances. It was a smooth and easy journey and the cabbie even sang some Sindhi songs to our amusement! Anyway off we were from our yellow ride and I scampered along struggling to put the lid back on the lunch carrier!

There the dream was realized...ATLAST!

http://pinkisfree.blogspot.com/

The cakes at waste

Scene 1
Interior/ day/ a coffee shop.

Two friends, Rita and Rohan sitting and having a chat.

Rohan:
Yes, but it’s their decision, we can’t do anything about it.
Rita:
What do you mean by we cant do anything about it. We are their friends. If we don’t do anything then who will?

Rohan takes out a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lights it.

Rohan:
Look, Rita it’s not easy for me okay? We are supposed to be friends but when things get out of hand there is very little we can do. Its not that I don’t want them to patch up but after talking individually to them…

Rita:
…them what? Huh?
Don’t talk like a jerk. It was just the heat of the moment when they had sworn at each other, do you think they really meant what they said…and…

Ringgg…ringgg…(Rita’s cell phone ringing)

Rita receives the call

Rita on the phone:
Hello?

Suresh on the other side:
Hey Rita is rohan with you?

Rita:
Yes, but what happened, tell me.

Suresh:
Achcha we need to talk right now, can you guys come over to my place…

Rita:
okay...fine...bye

Cut to a taxi

Scene 2
Exterior/day/inside a hired taxi.

Rita and rohan talking to each other


Rita:
Rohan do you think that bitch has anything to do with this?

Rohan:
I really have no idea. Everything is so murky…

Ringgg…ringggg…Rita’s cell phone ringing again

Rita on the phone:
Yes suresh, we are just there…is neeti also coming?

Suresh:
Arre they are all here…both neeti and pratima…and even akhil is here with us
You guys come quickly

Rohan (to the taxi driver):
Dada, please pull over.
How much?

Rita pulls open the cab door.
And then there is a long transitional cut to an elevator door closing and the lift goes up…

Rita:
I really with that everything gets sorted out today…it’s really bugging me

Scene 3
Interior/ day/ Suresh’s apartment.

Suresh, akhil, neeti and pratima are sitting on the sofa and having a light conference.

Suresh:
Akhil its no use talking to them ok? partima and neeti wont understand this way

Akhil:
Listen neeti, I know pritam is your best friend from school, but even I know him personally, and I know he isn't a saint!

Neeti:
Achcha suresh, how does pritam come into the picture? Yes he’s my friend from school and all, but I would have reacted in the same way had it been some other guy!

Neeti takes out a cigarette from a pack and starts smoking.

Akhil:
Neeti, you smoking again?

Neeti blows out a smoke ring and stares blankly at akhil. And suddenly breaks into tears.

Cut to the main door opening and rohan and Rita hurries in.



Rohan taking a seat beside neeti and tending her hair consoles her, and Rita sits beside pratima and hugs her.

Pratima:
I think there is no point discussing it again. I think we have had a lot of these silly conversations…
I really don’t want to know who is right or who is wrong, but I can’t take it anymore.

Neeti:
Exactly!
Look you guys, I don’t know how things are going to shape up from here on, but I really don’t want to let anything happen to 'our' friendship.
I know it will be tough for you people, but then I can’t help it at all.

Cut to akhil going to the kitchen.

There is a weird smile on his face.

Rita sensing something unusual takes a peek at akhil. She sees that akhil is taking out a cake form the refrigerator.

Rita:
You bastard…what’s this…and why is your face so lit up?

Akhil:
Oh My God!!
Shit Rita how did you…I mean why did you come here…
You will spoil the whole thing.

Rita:
What do you mean you jerk?

Cut to the room where the others are seated.

Neeti (thinking in her mind):
What is taking akhil so long? I even saw Rita going to the kitchen. I hope she doesn’t spoil the whole thing.

Pratima:
Neeti…I think its high time that we parted ways. I don’t know whose fault is it, but I think…
Akhil! Rita! What the fuck???
Akhil and Rita with a huge cake in their hands come barging in and slams a piece each on pratima and Rohan’s faces.

Rohan:
Bastards…I knew something is wrong.
As he bursts into laughter and smashes a piece on Akhil’s face and throws another piece at rita…who ducks at the right time…the cake misses her but lands on the adjacent wall and spoils it!
Neeti also joins in and there is a chaos…while pratima still gazes in awe…

Rita:
Achcha people…I think I should break the ice now, I cant see pratima like this anymore.
She giggles with a cake fed face and continues
Suresh, pritam and akhil planned the whole thing out. Akhil had called up neeti and discussed the whole thing to her.

Neeti:
And after hearing the whole plan, I was so excited that I thought it should be acted out real nicely or else it won’t be any fun at all…so…

Suresh:
So we didn’t mention anything about the plan to anyone. Only we four knew about it…
Until ofcourse Rita got airs about the whole thing and caught akhil red handed in the kitchen…and joined in! Ha-ha.

Neeti:
Look pratima, you are such a chicken! We will always get the chicken fooled…ha-ha…
But man, don’t be mad at us now! And don’t worry about your boyfriend, he’s still yours, and even pinky ihas a boyfriend now. It was us who chalked out the whole confusion for you! Ha-ha…

Pratima rushes out of the room hearing all this…

Neeti:
Shit man, I think we hurt her big time…
Will she ever…WOOOAAAHH!!!
You bitch…

Neeti screams out while pratima lets a whole cake land on her face!

Pratima:
You bitch! you think I didn’t know anything about this? Ha-ha.
Akhil had told me everything about it yesterday itself…my god! does he carry a big mouth on his face!!! But he is such a sweet heart!

Akhil:
SURPRISE!!

Everyone brings akhil down and bathes him in cream and slaps!

That Bitch

That bitch dances on and we sway with it
Never realizing where we are headed
We just smile when we see our own faces
Reflecting in these directionless ogles

Men and women, kids and my friends
Tell me what’s life without this anyway?
The bitch walks on not caring for you
It’s a heartless dog; just follow its ugly trail

Someone cries and someone smiles away
Could this gale in the greasy wits fade away?
And only tears and smiles are wasted everyday
Yet this gale gets stronger
And the hopes just flush away!!!

RUN!

Run to your grave before they come, for you
It’s the place where you can stay for as long as you want
They are chasing you they will hunt you down
So run for your life to your death
Run to your grave, son
Dive down their eyes, hide yourself in the dark
Cover your face and don’t utter a word, and run
Steal your shadow, hide from the light
Burn down the frenzy and extinguish your plight
They will hunt you down, son find your grave, run…

The Alleyway

I see him running down the alleyway
To that door from where the mysteries peep
Calling him…calling him yea
To the light…from the dark he leaps
To the truth from the lurk he dreams
Will he ever listen to me, he just runs away…
I can’t stop him now, see him running down
Running down….oh yea
What to do when it’s all fucked up
I can’t believe my luck
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm

Memories

Some of us are sitting on the rocks,
With cigarettes in hand enjoying the night.
So peaceful seems the silver moon and
As the waves come tumbling down
It steals a sliver streak from the moon above
to hit the shore with a lustful trance...

OMG!!

The Sky Cried

And there he sits with his lonely heart
Restless yet quietly he plucks the strings and
Hazily he stares at the ripples in the pond
Murmuring the lyric of some melancholy tone

You could feel the soul of the music he played
Though quite unconscious but his face was blank
But the waves in the air swayed away
To his every note that was at play

Lonely as ever, his eyes spoke about him
As his fixed stare reflected his thoughts so well
Along with the ripples his music flowed
In his heart, it touched every note

Suddenly his spell was broken by the brisk shower
As he finally turned his stare at the raining sky
His heart could not cry nor could his manly eyes
But the rain spoke a lot about his broken ties

Surreal

So I am writing again , don’t know why
I swear I ain’t no mad, and I don’t lie
Crawling on the walls from dawn to dusk
Shouting out abuses from behind the mask
Well will anybody tell me why am I here
Don’t know the reason, on god I swear
Let me fly away in the beautiful night
To the crescent moon shining so bright
But then fall back I, hard on the lazy green earth
My back hurt now, as god reminds me my worth
Will I see the light of the day again
My unconscious mind asks me then
I close one eye and throw one leg
I aint so high, though I just had one peg
I try to speak but words, laugh at me
Don’t come near you, just let me be
Please don’t mess with me today
I may kick you hard and then run away…
Sorry to end this so abruptly
I have lost it completely, u see??

Sister (Song - not a poem)

Let me tell you something
That I met a girl today who called me
Brother….
I said oh lovely lady
We are just so same together
Ah sister...

So tell me my sweet little angel
Will you be like this lending
Your shoulder….
I will rest my head
And shed a tear...

And promise to see me down when I fall low
On my blunders
I want to be like this and hide my face on
Your shoulder…

Do smile at me when I am
Sad and hollow in my useless life
Hanging by a string
Of faith...

And will you hold me tight
Cause I might just
Slip away, and pass down
Like a drop of blood...

And let me hold you tight
Cause I want to come out
Of this dip in down
Don’t want to drown...
Oh sister...

So this is my story, when I told you
That I met a girl today who called me
Brother….
I said oh lovely lady
You’re my sister...